The Modern Little Red Hen

This story (with slight variations) has been posted in several places. I don't know who the original author was.

Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called to her barnyard neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," mooed the cow.
"Not I," quacked the duck.
"Not I," grunted the pig.
"Not I," honked the goose.

"Then I will," said the little red hen. And she did. Her wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. So the little red hen asked her neighbors,"Who will help me harvest my wheat?"

"It's against my religion to work, if there's a Sunday in the week," grunted the pig.

"Out of my classification," honked the goose.
"My seniority will be lost," quacked the duck.
"My unemployment compensation would be jeopardized," mooed the cow.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she harvested her wheat.

And it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," mooed the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," honked the goose.
"I'm a dropout and I never learned how," quacked the duck.
"It's against my religion to bake bread," grunted the pig.

"Then I will,"said the little red hen, and she did. She baked five bread loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see.

Her neighbors smelled their freshness and they all wanted some. In fact, they demanded their rightful share. But the little red hen said, "No, I and my chicks can eat the five loaves ourselves."

"Excess profits!" squealed the pig.
"Profiteering leech!" honked the goose.
"Equal rights!" demanded the cow.
"I demand my share!" quacked the duck.

The animals protested, marching around the little red hen, holding signs and screaming obcenities. A government agent heard the racket and went to investiage. "Now, now," he scolded the Little Red Hen, "you must not be greedy."

The Little Red Hen replied, "But this is my bread. I was the one who watered and tended the grain. I was the one who harvested the grain. I was the one who kneaded and baked the dough. Nobody else bothered to help. I worked for this bread, and I earned it."

"Exactly," the government agent said. "That is the wonderful thing with the Capitalist System. Anybody can make as much as he wants to, but in accordance with strict Liberal laws, the productive workers must share with the less fortunate, even with the lazy and idle who do not wish to work.

The government agent took the bread and divided it amongst the barnyard. When he was finished, there was one very tiny loaf left for the little red hen. "Not so fast, Little Red Hen," the government agent commanded. "You have not yet paid your taxes on those loaves of bread." He took the last loaf fron the little red hen and walked away.

From that day forward, the little red hen never made any more bread, and nobody in the barnyard could understand why.

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Word of the Day: Pelf